From Psuedo-Artist to Professional painter

From Psuedo-Artist to Professional painter

Posted by Caroline Neill on 13th May 2021

Customer interaction has been the highlight of our trading experience. Not simply for feedback, but often we have been given the opportunity to be shown other peoples’ artwork, who have visited our stall and then shown us their artwork they have photographed on their mobiles. The exchange of artistic vision is an inspiration for both sides. There have been many occasions when I have been asked by young people, how they can become artists when they leave school, or how to perfect their skills at drawing for example, and each time, I am somewhat taken aback because I have not regarded myself as an artist at any point. In fact, I have often referred to myself as a ‘Pseudo- Artist’, a creative dabbler with paint or pencil who enjoys creating.

I’ve shared my work due to the encouragement I have received but there has always been the doubt that my work is good enough or that I possessed enough skill to be recognised as a professional artist. Nonetheless I have had enough passion to learn, to develop my artistic abilities and I have never tired of creating, the joy in applying paint onto canvas, the shimmer of graphite on paper is mesmerising and then the development from one splodge of colour that slowly becomes a recognisable image is addictive. From my point of view, those young people who have asked for advice or guidance are already artists in their own right simply because they are willing to learn. But if our time in Lockdown has taught me anything, it is to forget about painting to suit other people’s preferences. For years I have attempted to make my images as real as I can, to capture enough detail to make a subject easily recognisable, but lately I have been questioning my own preferences. I am personally more attracted to abstract art, where paint has been applied in such a way to create texture and form that, in some cases, are the results of ‘happy accidents’ where the chemical reactions or the impulsive action of the brush or palette has resulted in something that can not be deliberately achieved.

I look at my work and I wonder would I buy it? And often the answer is no. I see my work as tight and lacking in spontaneity. Of course, it is often down to personal choice, does it matter if I don’t necessarily want to display my own artwork in my own home? Not really because the joy is in the creation and then the positive reactions of those that do like it.

I’ve often looked at other artists with a slight twinge of envy, wishing I could paint like them, but for the first time, I questioned why not? I would not be able to achieve the spontaneity I admire unless I painted without caring what the reception would be. With this thought in mind, I chose an old canvas, and applied thick acrylic paint using only an old credit card and just allowed the paint to ‘do its thing’. The result was a painting that at first I was disappointed with. It is difficult to adjust the mentality that demands I must create a sense of realism, but over time, I begun to accept then love this first painting. It is a winter landscape made with muted greys, blues and whites and now hangs with pride in our main bedroom. It is not a painting that I would sell, because it has become a personal, almost intimate reflection of my innermost desires. My ideal place...an almost barren winter wilderness, signifying solitary reflection; a meditation with the natural world.

It holds significance because it is the first painting that taught me I could paint however I liked. To paint or create as if there are no rules, there is no judgement. To paint freely and spontaneously is a liberating and joyful experience and one that I have chosen to repeat since. The Lockdown 2020 series are such examples where acrylic paint has been applied loosely with thick strokes from a palette knife. The emphasis is not on capturing detail but rather what the subject represents. Recently I have working on a triptych entitled Sandstorm series that was inspired by Moldovan photographer Pirita, from a photograph of a horse running along a beach. The feeling that was captured in this image was inspirational and one that attracted me to the idea of painting not so much what I was seeing, but instead feeling the emotional response that the image inspirited.

The three Sandstorm paintings are painted in acrylic paint using broad brushes, by sweeping the paint into shape rather than via my usual technique of using small brushes applying oil paint in layers. The images may not be exact in realism, there are details that lack finesse, but overall I think the looser painting style has created a depiction of energy and freedom, and I am happy with the result.

Through this enforced period of reflection, the wonder of nature around me has nurtured and guided and I’m realising that my purpose is not to produce images that bring satisfaction to the viewer but to be open to new ways of ‘seeing’. By painting the beauty I recognise around me , I’m creating ‘ in the moment’ ; there are no rules, no restrictions. I am simply sharing and honouring what I appreciate and that means I can now see myself as an artist in own right.